Description of Work

The Infestation of Fixation - 2022 - Blown glass, ceramic, mixed media - $700 each

Artist's Statement

There is a terrible beauty to being human. The experiences and emotions we have are overwhelming and sometimes become difficult to bear; I am no exception to this universal truth. I do not know why I think or feel the way I do, sometimes I don’t even know what I feel. Making visual the feelings I experience daily allows myself to examine how I handle the barriers life sets out for me. These examinations are not meant to be healing, they are meant to be informative. With the use of ceramic and glass, I can take the physical process of working with the material and connect it to the conceptual framework of the pieces.

The ceramic sculptures follow the traditional rules of building in clay. Coils are rolled, stacked, and smoothed. Slip is applied, the pieces are dried and then fired to the appropriate temperature. The repetitive surface design aids in telling the narrative of structure and procedure, thus creating solidarity in the piece. Each figure is hollow and lacking emotion, the stoic nature allows the viewer to see a person but not a specific individual. The neutral state make possible that any person can attach themselves to the blank template. These monotone figurative sculptures create an unassuming structure for the blown glass pieces.

The process for creating the glass components strays away from tradition. Following a more experimental approach to blowing glass and focusing on its physical characteristics. I am able to see how far glass can be pushed, pulled, stretched, and melted. The pieces are spontaneous, each one never planned when being created but rather asking the question what could happen? With this mindset I am able to work freely and intuitively, allowing how I feel in the moment to be reflected in the pieces.

The constraints of working traditionally with the ceramic material act as a parallel to the constraints I put around my emotions, to conceal the chaos of my thoughts. The most vulnerable parts of me are tucked away in an act of self-preservation and protection. However, the strongest structures are no match to erosion and time. The glass acts as a representation of my fixations, a break from the pattern and a moment of chaos. Chipping away at the insides of the structures until broken free and allowed to spread over its host. These fixations are full of question and doubt. I cannot answer the questions I ask myself in fear of choosing wrong, but I will continue to accumulate them and store them away within myself.

I have reached the point of breaking. The fixation eats away at the foundation I have worked so hard on. The walls I have built, the memories I have suppressed and the bad I have contained are breaking free. I am unsure if this fracturing is a sign of healing. I ask myself which is better for me, to feel nothing or to feel everything? Is the very thing that protects me making my days more punishing?

There is a beauty behind the connections created by emotional responses. It is when we have our strongest feeling that we are the closest to one another. I choose to share the unpleasant sides of me in the pursuit of connection. I hope for understanding, that someone will relate to the narrative I have placed in front of them; connecting to it on a deeper level and seeing their struggles represented in my art.

If you wish to purchase any of these pieces, please contact the gallery director, Jacqueline Nathan (jnathan@bgsu.edu.)