How to Help

When the time comes to intervene, be sure to take steps to help the situation and stay safe.

Emergency Helping

Direct / Indirect 

Direct: You are the one who takes responsibility as a primary helper.
Indirect: You request someone else take responsibility as the primary helper. (Ex. Police, EMT personnel)

Remember to...

  • Calm the person
  • Gather information
  • Look at all options
  • Provide support
  • Know appropriate referrals
  • Do not become enmeshed

Non-Emergency Helping

Direct / Indirect

Direct: Speak with the person directly.
Indirect: Talk to a person who may be helpful (Ex. Counselor, Coach)

The 5 Point Formula

  • I care... tell the person that you care about them
  • I see... tell them what you see happening
  • I feel... tell the person your personal feelings
  • I want... tell them what you would like to see happen
  • I will... specify what you will and will not do (follow through with what you say)

Example: John, you know you're one of my best friends, right? [Care] I noticed Stacy's roommate was pretty drunk when you told her you'd meet her upstairs in a few minutes [See]. I feel like going up there when she is this drunk would be a bad idea, she isn't thinking clearly and neither are you [Feel]. I just want to make sure nobody gets into a situation they regret, so why don't you just stay down here with us? [Want] We can walk home together, and I'll order a pizza when we get back [Will]

The 5 Decision Making Steps

1. Notice the event. Be aware of surroundings.

2. Interpret the events as a problem/emergency.

  • Ambiguity - Not clear if they need help? Get more information.
  • Conformity - How are other bystanders reacting to the situation? Is this reaction the best course?

3. Assume personal responsibility. Fight the natural urge to pass responsibility to the larger group.

4. Know how to help. Learn skills and practice them (e.g. CPR, First Aid)

5. Implement the help. Remember there are risks associated with either decision.

Focus on S.E.E. - Safe Responding, Early Intervention, Effective Helping