Lauryn Hulett Thrives as an Introvert in Honors

I never considered myself an introvert throughout high school. Coming from a graduating class of just under 200, I knew most of my peers since elementary school and even if I wasn’t close to them, we were all acquaintances. I had never been in a classroom where I was extremely nervous to speak aloud, but I wasn’t the most comfortable either. The more I thought about myself, the more I questioned whether I actually liked speaking aloud or if it was comfortable because I knew my peers. The more I thought about this and myself in general, I knew I definitely had introvert-tendencies.

Coming to an Honors College presentation, I heard the phrases ‘discussion-based’ and ‘smaller classes’. As an incoming Honors student, those words should excite students; but instead I felt tense. Speaking up in class? In college? People I do not know? How was I supposed to be comfortable with that? Hearing the words ‘smaller classes’ made me uneasy. I was expecting ten to fifteen people, and that thought made it even worse. I began thinking about going to a college where I would not know anyone and the thought of sharing my opinion with a small group was honestly terrifying. I thought about topics I may not be comfortable with. I thought about being in an Honors class with ten to fifteen discussing Biology or The Refugee Crisis (topics that I should definitely know more about, but I don’t) and I was immediately intimidated. It was then I realized that I definitely did not like speaking in class, but the fact that I knew my peers in high school made it more comfortable.

Although these feelings made me apprehensive, there was still something about the Honors College that intrigued me. The students that were speaking about their experience seemed so passionate and so driven. I felt more nervous than excited, but the opportunities they were sharing seemed much too favorable to ignore. Of course, feeling apprehensive, I kept putting off the Honors Application. One day it was: ‘I don’t need to be in the Honors College’ and the next day it was ‘just press submit’! Days of contemplating went by until the literal last day the application was open, and I pressed submit— and I am so thankful I did.

I received my personalized acceptance letter in the mail and I was truly ecstatic, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the rigorous curriculum and challenges that I would face being an Honors student. This thought overwhelmed me for a while, but I knew I would just have to let things happen as they were supposed to.

I went to my first few classes of the fall semester and knew I was meant to be there. Reading through the syllabi and previewing the semester was overwhelming at first, but I soon accepted that I wasn’t going to always have everything figured out. One thing that eased my mind though, was the fact that the size of the class was about the same as a high school classroom: twenty-five to thirty people. I was still uncomfortable with the whole ‘speaking-in-class-participate-in-conversation’ thing, but the topics discussed in Intro to Critical Thinking were not as intimidating as I expected. We conversed about things that relate to everyday life and the way in which each individual perceives the world. As the semester progressed, I realized that the more I participate in conversation the more I am challenged in my beliefs—something that is so crucial for growth. Hearing that may not be so comfortable, (and at times, trust me—it was not) but I learned so many new things about myself through sharing my thoughts. It didn’t have to be an entire speech when I talked but participating at least once each day helped me become a bit more comfortable. We all come from different high schools, towns and backgrounds but knowing the students among me were as driven as myself made it much more of a safe space in which I could comfortable share an idea. By the end of the semester, I became so comfortable with voicing my opinion in my Critical Thinking class that I would actually laugh when I felt I said something wrong—when High School me would have become immediately tense and embarrassed.

I’m going to be a little too real for a second and admit that everyone as first year Honors students are quietly comparing themselves to one another. This may not be a topic of conversation but a thought that occurs: Do I belong here? How did they do in High School? What was their ACT score? How did they do on that writing assignment? I think there is definitely a quiet curiosity about what kind of student that Honors demands. During my first semester, I struggled in one of my honors classes and wanted to know if others were too, but at the same time I did not want to make that known. I’m not going to lie and say that it is easy, but I believe that it is well worth it. The classes are difficult to an extent, but definitely manageable. Many of your peers will be struggling with the same things that you are, especially as a first-year student. One major thing to note though is if you do struggle, there are so many people within BGSU and especially Honors that are there for you. The faculty and even peers in the Honors College want to see your success. The environment created through the Honors College is a perfect balance of rigor and personalization. Not only did I feel comfortable among other students, but the topics we discussed were engaging and I know that through critical thinking I have become more open-minded.

I don’t know that I have answered my question completely though. What is it like to be an introvert in Honors? It is an experience that is uncomfortable in the best way possible. Priority scheduling, the option to live in the Honors Learning Community, discussion-based classes, and receiving a study abroad scholarship: all very advantageous, but those perks are just surface level. The best part about being an Honors student is the growth that takes place within your first-year honors classes. Critical Thinking is something so applicable and so crucial for success whether it is within a career or a personal relationship. Not only are these skills applicable to life, but the conversations held in these classes are always intellectually stimulating. Along with this, the Honors College makes individual connections possible. For me, it was always a comforting feeling to know that if I need help, I can (convince myself to) ask for it. I cannot say that I have miraculously become an extrovert, but the thought of speaking in class, or asking for help is no longer as terrifying or intimidating as it once was. I have gained a sense of confidence in my ideas and speaking abilities because I was challenged by them.

Even after all of this, you may still be wondering if the Honors college is for you. My answer for you is that if you have made it this far into this post: you are definitely meant to be here. Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, The Honors College provides a safe space to be challenged– in a good way.