Alana Ritt Finds the Courage to Change her Major

How many of you have a “thing”? A passion, or talent, or interest that has guided much of your life and that you count as a huge part of who you are today? For me, my “thing” has always been art. Ever since I was a little kid, I had two dreams: to get into the perfect college, and to become a famous artist. As I grew up, art played a key role not only in how I saw myself, but how others saw me as well. I was always the artsy kid, the one who doodled in the margins of all her notes and on the back of all her homework assignments; I was the girl who would hide out in the art room of her high school, painting massive works for hours on end; I was the one who was picked first for every game of Pictionary, and stared at whenever a teacher said an assignment would require drawing. Because art was what I was good at, I never considered being anything but an artist once I graduated. Sure, my ideal career path went from illustrator to animator, from character artist to designer, but I never in a million years would have believed that I was made to do more than make art. Art was what I knew, it was what I was good at, so it must be the perfect choice for a career path, right?

Well, as I grew up, my dreams grew with me. For one thing, my view of what constituted the “perfect” college changed. All my life I have been an Honors student, and while I am proud of that fact I will also be the first to admit that it has had its fair share of hardships. Perhaps the biggest one came when choosing colleges, trying to find the right balance between Honors and art. I was stuck in the mindset of “if I don’t go to Yale or at least some east-coast private school, then I have failed as an Honors student.” However, from the moment I stepped onto BGSU’s campus and walked into the Honors college for the first time, my world was flipped: I realized that it wasn’t just about academic rigor or the prestige of a name, it was about finding your home. Looking back, I feel that BGSU was always meant to be my home, and realizing that was perhaps the most important and life-changing decision I have ever made.

Upon coming to Bowling Green, my worldview continued to change. I entered BGSU pursuing a major in Digital Arts, as at the time I thought I wanted to become a character designer and work for a big film studio like Pixar. However, I quickly learned through my introductory courses that Digital Art wasn’t right for me; I realized that I enjoyed the design and typographic aspects of my work far more than the more illustrative parts, and decided that I should change my major to Graphic Design. Upon realizing this, I immediately broke down. All my life I had been carrying the pressure of feeling as though I need to succeed on the first try, and that changing my major somehow made me a failure both as an artist and as a student. I remember calling my parents in tears, feeling such complete and utter shame at the prospect of a major change. However, after some consoling from my parents and much-needed advice from my advisors, I went ahead and changed my major. Walking out of the administration building that day, I felt free; however, there was still this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that something still wasn’t quite right, that maybe Graphic Design wasn’t the right choice. I shrugged this feeling off, however, as I still firmly believed that Graphic Design was the only reasonable choice; because if I wasn’t an art major, was I even me?

Fall of my second-year rolled around, and with it came my Graphic Design courses. Immediately upon starting the classes something began to feel off; I found myself losing my passion for art, beginning to feel as if it was a chore and not the place of rest and energy that it once was. I felt uninspired in my design courses and stressed by my studios, the place which I thought would be my refuge; cue another breakdown, another call to my mom, another consideration of major change. I was so deeply convinced that there was no other path for me but to be an artist in some way, shape, or form. Nevermind the other strengths, other passions I had; art had been such a defining part of my personality for so long, I wasn’t sure if I would still be me without it.

I struggled with these feelings of doubt throughout this past fall and winter, until one fateful February morning when the world suddenly became clear. I was meeting with a mentor of mine for coffee one morning when she asked me a question; a very simple question by all accounts, but one that completely opened my eyes: “what is your favorite class that you’re in?”. I froze, coffee cup in hand; I thought about my design classes, the ones that I should feel a burning passion for. Instead I felt nothing. What I was really excited by was my independent study, which focuses on college admissions and higher education. I realized in that moment what my true passion was, my true calling--something which, looking back on it, I can see evidence of throughout my childhood and teenage years all the way up to today: art may be a talent, a passion, but I feel as though my real calling is to work with students and share with them the incredible college experience that has changed my life for the better. I did not want to be an artist, not as a job anyway; I want to spend my days working with students, helping them to get excited about college and ensuring that their experience is absolutely wonderful.

Immediately upon realizing this, I felt as though a curtain of grey had been pulled from my eyes, revealing a glowing sun behind. I am not sure that I have ever been as excited about something as I was at that realization that day. In the span of an hour, I had been hit with perhaps the most important revelation I have ever had: my identity is not my talents. It’s not what I thought I wanted to be when I was a kid, it's not about the expectations of the people I went to high school with. My identity is my own to control; shaped by my amazing college experience here at BGSU, I found something that I am so passionate about, I want to spend every day for the next 40-odd years doing it.

About two days after that conversation, I walked right into the College of Arts and Sciences office and changed my major for the second time, from Graphic Design to Communications. This time, I felt no remorse, no tears slid down my face. I felt more confident and assured of myself than I think I ever have. Finally being able to drop my notions of who I had to be and what it means to succeed has allowed me to truly follow my passions and figure out more clearly who I am and who I want to be going forward. My new major will allow me to better understand how to communicate to students and help them to have the best college experience possible. Another perk of the major change? I find myself making art for fun again. Letting go of who I thought I needed to be, clinging desperately to a talent as a source of my identity has allowed me to not only grow closer to who I feel I am meant to be, but has given me the chance to enjoy my passions once again and finally feel free.