Luck of the Irish Bachelor

As I stood there being sized for another tuxedo for another friend’s wedding I kept thinking how I could be the last bachelor.

It is not as if I was adverse to marriage. Quite the opposite, I came from a loving family of solid marriages and dreamed of one myself. Which is why I was the first of my friends to graduate from all the talk of nuptials with my first love at the party that followed did not scare me or make me uncomfortable, as it seemed the next logical step.

Eventually I learned the union of two does not always become one. That all the planning, preparation and diligence one person could ever display does not ensure the greatest reward—love.

As each friend walks that aisle I question the validity of perseverance. Bouncing back and forth between my single life, much like a pair of jeans that wears thin but becomes comfortable, and my “uncle” hood in a desperate attempt to prove I can play a part in couples’ lives and learn their secret. Their life so simple and complex I believe as an outsider that you gain the advantage of witnessing without committing. Eating off their plate but stick them with the bill. I never really did understand the joys and frustrations since I could not submerge myself wholly. I was truly jealous of what they had that I should have had first. I always led the way and set the examples so why do they get my rewards. I even introduced most of them even if you count that incident when I caught my girlfriend in bed with my friend in my bed, and now I am to give the toast of their wedding of how they met. What is the worth of ethics when it all comes down to luck?

The ludicrous nature of the situation made me bitter and only served to distance me from that which was my one true desire—the bridge to their world. The comments of their “envy” of my freedom and independence, accolades me as I traveled the world when they would be lucky to see Disney World. Those good intentions and supportive gestures were received as insults and cockiness. Cruel laughter as I searched the world for paradise and they were already there.

And then she shows up. The one worth waiting for. Ego gives way to humility. Bitterness becomes tenderness. Self-honesty removes self-pity. That is not the luck but honesty with oneself that makes it all possible.

And as I stand here being sized for the tuxedo for my wedding I keep thinking how I could be so lucky.

Kevin Hickey ’95 | Biology

Kent, Ohio