BGSU-HJU Traveling Home Hiroshima Links Diversion Dining Life Home Banks, Mail Faith ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ Safety ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ Manners Japanese society is well known for being extremely polite, with nearly a whole separate language for honorifics, humble forms, and the like. Although foreigners are not expected to know the many unspoken codes of conduct, it never hurts. Rules of course vary from place to place and in each family, but there are a few manners that are universal to the Japanese. In the House ~First and foremost, take your shoes off when you enter anyone's home. Most places have at least a mat denoting the "Genkan" or foyer. A good host will also pull out a pair of 'guest slippers' for you to use. You might want to consider buying a pair or two for the use of your own guests as well. ~When you go to the restroom, most houses also have a separate pair of 'toilet slippers'. This comes from the days when the bathroom was a separate building with a filthy floor that could ruin normal shoes. In any case, before entering, take off the house slippers and then step into the bathroom slippers. Again, you probably should have a pair of these available for visitors. ~The same as here, Japanese people like it when you comment positively on their knickknacks, especially in the formal rooms of the house. Criticism on the other hand is something reserved only for close friends, and even then has to be given artfully and indirectly. ~When you are ushered into a Japanese-style room (tatami floors with mats called zabuton in place of chairs), there are a few rules for how you take your seat. In formal company both men and women are expected to remain on their knees. If the host invites his guests to relax, men can sit cross legged, and women with their knees to their side. Foreigners however are almost invariably told they can sit how they please, and are often given the seat of honor at the table. At Meals ~Chewing with your mouth open is universally rude, and many women in Japan even cover their mouth with their hand while they eat. ~Although you aren't supposed to be excessively noisy when dining, it's expected that you slurp your soup and noodles. ~People often pick their teeth with toothpicks at the table. However, they are supposed to cover the mouth with a hand or napkin while doing so. ~When it comes to eating rice, DON'T mix the soy sauce into it directly. Although there are 'toppings' for your rice like sesame seeds and seaweed flakes, soy sauce is not considered one of them. If you want to eat soy with your rice, put it in a separate dish and obtain some sheets of seaweed. Using your chopsticks, wrap a bit of rice in the seaweed and dip that into the soy sauce instead. ~On no uncertain terms should you leave your chopsticks sticking in any dish! This signifies it as an offering to the dead and is considered not only rude but sacrilegious. You are supposed to have a chopstick pillow to rest them on between bites, but if not you can set them with the tips raised by the edge of your plate. ~In formal company, if taking food from a common plate or giving an item to another person, turn the chopsticks around and use the wider end to do so. Don't eat from these ends! Most of the time, your company will insist on your using the normal end of the chopsticks which indicates that you are considered a friend. Sometimes people may even appear to be offended by what they see as excessive formality. However, it's better to err in favor of politeness than disrespect. ~When drinking, be sure to try and pour your host/friend/guest the first round. You might have a bit of an argument over who gets that honor however. After the first glass, the minute the cup is empty the other person is supposed to refill it. You never pour your own drink in company. When you've had enough to drink, just make sure you leave a little bit of liquid in the bottom of the glass signifying your satiated state. ~Whether the meal is bought or home cooked, if you're a guest, be sure to praise it no matter how it tastes. Not only is it nice, it's expected. Praise and Thank you ~You can never say thank-you enough in Japanese culture. If someone helps or treats you, not only should you thank them at the time of the event but also the next time you see them. Sending a thank you card if you can is also a nice gesture. If something very nice was done for your benefit, including a gift with the card is considered courteous as well. I found that giving baked goods from one of the numerous patisseries was the best gift and always appreciated, though I don't think that is what people usually give. According to a friend, sake sets are popular thank-you gifts, but she personally found them annoying as she had so many they were cluttering up her house. ~When you go to a friend's house, especially one you haven't seen in a while, you're supposed to bring some small gift. Again, I recommend food items. Moreover, if your friends are serving you dinner, it follows that you bring something to compliment it. Fruit, beverages, alcohol, and of course dessert items are usually welcomed. One thing I noted however was that for guests, home-made does not carry the same positive connotation that it does in the states. Unless the person who brought the dish was a professional cook or the recipe is native to their homeland, bringing homemade side dishes appeared to be considered cheap or even arrogant. ~For the big favors you receive from people or for end-of-the-year thank you presents, Japan has many different gift-sets you can purchase at a variety of prices. For the student on a budget, I recommend Daei where you can buy box-sets of everything from beer, tea, ice cream, smoked salmon, fruit, jelly, even detergent, soap, and other household cleaners. These goods can be sent to you or the recipient if you can't just pick them up at the store, and cost anywhere from about 1500-20,000 yen. The more expensive department stores have gift sets as well but they cost more despite being the same thing sold in Daei. Thus, the issue is whether you're willing to pay for prestige. ~When receiving a gift, you're first expected to refuse it by telling the other person not to worry about you or that you don't deserve it. The giver then is forced to plead with you to take it, saying that it is just a small thing and that it comes from the bottom of their heart. Typically you go back and forth like this 2 or 3 times until you finally give in and humbly accept the item or service. The reverse applies as well. This habit can be a bit disconcerting, even annoying to the typical American, especially when dealing with the most polite Japanese who will not accept anything no matter what. Just keep insisting with a smile. Other Rules and Taboos ~You will rarely see anyone, especially women, bending over in public as it is considered rude and provocative. Instead, they dip or kneel in order to get something on the ground. ~Although it isn't a horribly strict rule, you are not supposed to drink while moving about. Instead, it is considered polite to either stand around a vending machine or sit down for a few minutes while you partake of a beverage. ~When you're talking to people make sure to add in lots of "hai, wakaru\wakarimasu, mmm" and other affirmatives to ensure your partner that you're listening. This practice applies to the phone as well, and if you fail to comply, the other party will wonder if you're bored or can't hear them and will repeatedly ask "moshi moshi (hello?)" or "daijyoubu?(You okay?)" ~One thing you will rarely see in Japan is a lot of litter. Sure, there are the occasional candy wrappers and pop cans scattered about but in general the streets are phenomenally clean. Thus, even if you have to walk a mile, hold onto your garbage until you find a trash can. Convenience stores always have bins for recycling and regular trash.